VS 2013 #4 – The correct use of shovels


It is tradition, at this time of the year to wish others well, to celebrate the success and ponder the failures of yet another year in our lives.  To share gifts, to kiss under the mistletoe and to have sex with Santa.  So this year, we took turns to give Santa the present he so richly deserves.  For Kurac it was a quasi-mystical experience, reminding him of his short, passionate love affair with David Crosby in the summer of 81.  Well, the beard rash was the real reminder.  Ringfinger, well he has always had bad memories of Christmas past.  This just added another to giant, growing catalogue that one day will help Dr Bob, the VS psychiatrist retire disgracefully to Vegas where Kitty the roulette dealer is waiting to fleece him.  You see, everyone we touch has gold waiting over the brown rainbow.  And SCSI-b, well she would not partake in this kind of abject puerile nonsense.  God for her puritan soul we say.  So onto the music…


SCSI-b and Ringfinger were very taken with punchdrunk’s new production in London called ‘The Drowned Man’.  It was an entirely discontinuous and dense immersive theatre production littered with cool sounds.  Here are three.  Firstly we have The Bootleggers from the Lawless soundtrack featuring Nick Cave and Burnin Hell. Next up is the amazing Shangri-Las, inaccurately only ever remembered for Leader of the Pack, but this amazing song actually came one single before that hit in 1964 (and went to #5).  Apparently, the original version is over 7 minutes long, unheard of in this era of the 7″ single.  Finally, April March with her cover of the France Gall ye-ye classic ‘Chick Habit – original version called Lasse Tomber les Filles’

Next we move onto the Kurac Collection.  He is the owner of the worlds largest collection of plush, puppet, animated, marionette and simply creepy Christian doll pop.  There is no one who can beat his collection.  I know, I was with him when we picked up the crowning glory of his collection at Boxhanger Platz market in Berlin – The prototype Little Marcy. E mail me for pictures.  Bernie the Billy Goat sings ‘Love is the reason’.  I have no idea why. Or How.  Charlie the Hamster sings Bible Stories came out in 1973 and features this little piece of Jesus Loving Chipmunkxploitation (More to come on this term later) and finally we get Little Marcy.  Oh where do we start.  She’s a doll. A real doll.  Who sings.  About Jesus, the devil and her little pussy.  We are not kidding.  Google it boys and girls.  This time she sings Devil, Devil, Go away.

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Next we pay tribute to the late great Lou Reed.  I ain’t going to make jokes, not even about Master Ren.  So we have Yugoslav new wave legends Elektricni Orgazm doing ‘I’m waiting for the man’ from their Les Chansones Populaires in 1983.  Then there is probably one of the most inappropriate cover versions ever committed to vinyl, and that is Rolf Harris taking a walk on the wild side and finally a cover that deserves and the mighty Galaxie 500 doing ‘Here she comes now’.  Hearing Dean Wareham do this in London a few years back was existential at best.


Yup, we begged him not to, but he insisted.  We called the lawyers. We asked for those cease and desist letters that ungrateful studios send to fans when they are trying to get people to read their slash fantasies between Peter Griffin and a giant chicken.  But we could not stop him.  DJ Ringfinger is back with a track called ‘Popular uses for a shovel’ mixing some post slowcore with amateur poetry record at SUNY in new York in 1976 (two poems by Bill Herilhy).  You can find the entire tape find here.

We abruptly end the sad life of Alvin, Simon and Theodore as they equally and quite inappropriately sing Walk on the Wild Side, with no amended lyrics.  yes, Chipmunks singing about giving head, and yes, its real, it’s from a K-Tel record called ‘Chipmunk Punk’.  After the gunshots we move to some Chipmunkxploitation.  Yes, it’s a real word, only those bastards at the so-called Oxford ‘English’ dictionary won’t recognise it. Featuring Chipmunks, hamsters, squirrels, whatever form of acorn filled cheek puffing furry creatures you could speed up human voices to imitate, they found ’em.  Here are two such beasts, Squirrely and Shirley from 1976 and The Nutty Squirrels from 1959.  These bookend the actual Chipmucks doing a cover Devo’s Whip it.  I think both SCSI-b and I are a little worried at the Kurac obsession with this.  You should see his Christmas list.  Oh Lord, Santa might blush.

Two tracks that are related only by the fact that Ringfinger found them in a record store on Sunday when he should have been hanging with the in-laws.  A man has to know his priorities.  The first is German maestro James Last covering Colored Spade from Hair.  F-U.N.K-Y.  The next is psych dude band ‘The Dave Pike Set’ and the heavy as funk cover of the James Brown’s ‘Got the Feelin’.  Both of these tracks will be heard at our final Beat Special for the year, Saturday 14th December at Foots Muziekcafe in the Hague.  Be there for crazy visuals, dirty great stinking beats and two of us plus our dear WYW radio friend DJ Mr Six.


Let’s finish off the set with two more songs featured in the Drowning Man.  From the soundtrack of Twin Peaks – Fire Walk with Me is the amazing ‘The Pink Room’ and finally we rock out with  Melt yourself down and their track ‘We are enough’.  This amazing track was released through Bandcamp this year and you can get it for yourself at this link.


Well, there you have it, another show, another year, half of what we did last year.  Yes, we are slowing down in our old age.  But will be back with SCSI-b and her wrap up of 2013 and then again next year with more vinyl madness, more weird shit and more warped and cracked music, and don’t forget, on Christmas day, be kind to your fellow man (woman or Billy goat) and stick a 12″ up yo….

Burnin’ Hell – The Bootleggers (featuring Nick Cave)
Remember (Walking in the Sand) – The Shangri-Las
Chick Habit – April March
Love is the Reason – Bernie the Billy Goat
Books of the new testament – Charlie the Hamster
I’m waiting for my man – Elektricni Orgazm
Walk on the Wild Side – Rolf Harris
Here she comes – Galaxie 500
Popular uses for a shovel – A sad waltz in d-minor
Walk on the Wild Side – a life cut short – The Chipmunks
Hey Shirley – Shirley and Squirelly
Whip It – The Chipmunks
Eager Beaver – The Nutty Squirrels
Kung Fu Fighting – Pinky and Perky
Coloured Spade – James Last
I got the Feelin’ – The Dave Pike Set
The Pink Room – Angelo Badalamenti
We are enough – Melt yourself down


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